May 31, 2020 – Day 76 of my quarantine
Life is short and at my age, getting shorter all the time. Since the end of my relationship, I’ve been spending a lot of time socially in Second Life, well basically, wasting time in Second Life socially, and once again it began to render diminishing returns in happiness. I’ve been here before – talked about it before on this blog.
I keep remembering that old adage – “Insanity is doing the same thing over and over expecting different results.”
Back in January, I had decided to use Second Life only as a harvesting ground for images for the book – but after I ended my relationship, 11 days ago, I decided to dip my toe back in the murky social waters once again. I was feeling a little lost and lonely, had no one to talk to, so why not? How bad could it be, right?
Sometimes, being in Second Life socially makes me feel even more isolated and alone than I actually am. I’m friendly, funny, kind, and generous to people and it gets treated with suspicion like I’m “up to something” or I get treated like I’m a piece of dog shit that is stuck to the bottom of their shoe. I’ve never really fit in anywhere there in over 10 years and I find I get ostracised by cliques, groups, and organizations regularly, to the point of predictability. Honestly, I don’t even know why I returned to try after the relationship ended. I should have just packed everything up and called it a day. Regardless of my being alone in prolonged isolation for this amount of time – there HAS to be a better, healthier way for me to connect socially with people. There just HAS to be.
So – Post-Breakup Vacation in Second Life is officially over. Just like I deserved to be in a better, more equitable relationship than the one I was in, I ALSO deserve to have a social connection that’s more authentic and fulfilling than this one has been, and I’m going to go find it. And if I can’t find it I’ll build it. Because that’s what I do – I build things.
Sending you all my Love and Light. Stay Safe. Stay Smart. Stay Sane. Stay Strong out there.
Until next time …