April 26, 2020 – Day 41 of my quarantine.
In human psychology, the breaking point is a moment of stress in which a person breaks down or a situation becomes critical.
The intensity of environmental stress necessary to bring this about varies from individual to individual.
For me, it was 40 days alone in isolation and almost losing one of my cats. Because I was so preoccupied with my bottled-up angry thoughts that I was not careful or paying attention while opening the sliding glass back door yesterday morning while moving some gardening equipment. My littlest girl, Laser, slipped out without me noticing. Thankfully, she was gone only a few hours.
Jack stood at the backdoor and called her back home with his deep Siamese howls and cries – her devotion to him is unlike anything I have ever seen between cats. We are once again reunited as a family. I thank the Universe for this small blessing. We celebrated with canned Tuna, cat nip, and extra-long games of laser tag and jingle ball bowling.
I will not apologize for what I said yesterday because I am not sorry for what I said. I needed to say it. Based on the personal feedback I’ve gotten from some of you – you needed to read it too. To hear someone reassure you that YOU are not alone in your feelings of hopelessness, frustration, and anger as well. Thank you for reaching out and letting me know. It means so much to me.
Because in the end, that was all I wanted when the day started out. Someone to tell me I was not alone in my feelings of hopelessness, frustration, and anger. Someone to reassure me that my life has more meaning than just a drain on a failing economy. An economy, that has already made it impossible for me to afford the diabetes medication I desperately need. But I’m really not alone there – In 2018, the poverty rate for people living with a disability in the United States was 25.7%. That’s nearly 4 million people living with a disability—in poverty. So, besides COVID 19, I guess there’s more than one way to get us to die and “free-up” the economy. Capitalism at its finest. Price things like education, housing, and healthcare so high that only the wealthy can afford it … there’s a word for that … what was it? … Oh! I remember! – “Genocide.”
What I learned from this experience is that I have spent way too much time and energy trying to be “politically correct” and “neutral” on this blog. I’ve been trying too hard to not offend anyone to my own detriment. All the while absorbing and building up a stockpile of toxic rage that went nuclear yesterday.
To those of you who are offended by my words – Folks, it’s pretty simple. If this blog offends you – stop reading it.
BONUS CONTENT –
Michael Moore is one of my heroes in documentary filmmaking – this film was just released this Earth Day and I am proud to share it here with you – an unflinching look at our unfortunate reality –
Stay safe. Stay Smart. Stay Strong. Because sooner or later this shit is going to end.
Until next time …