Loneliness of the Inner Child


April 10, 2020 – Day 24 of my quarantine.

I have always led a reclusive life. I am no stranger to solitude. But I have to say that this experience of complete social isolation is having a growing impact on me.

Recently I noticed something deep inside me has begun to hurt, a hollow pain right at my solar plexus, and so I took a few hours of contemplative reflection and meditation to reveal the source of this pain – and it is my inner child.

As an adult, I can withstand anything. After 65 years on this planet, nothing really phases me anymore. But there is a part of me – the part I protect at all costs, where all my imagination and creativity comes from, the part that is always hopeful and optimistic, the part that constantly looks to the horizon and has faith and trusts that tomorrow will be a better day –  that’s my inner child.

My inner child is lonely. Devastatingly lonely. And I do not know how to comfort this child. I don’t know what to say to this part of me that will make it feel better.

And so we just sit together here. Alone. Hoping for a time when things will be better, praying for that time to get here. Wondering what that time will look like and feel like, wondering who will be there with us, hoping we will laugh and play again.

One thing I do know – and really, it is the only thing I can say with certainty –

Every Thing Changes 

The very essence of the Universe is Change. What is true today will not necessarily be true tomorrow. Every Thing Changes. So, in times of great dispair I remind myself of this. When my soulmate died 7 years ago, I actually made a sign that said “Every Thing Changes” and hung it on my wall where I would see it every day. To remind myself that I would not feel that initial immense pain of her loss forever.

Maybe I should make another one of those signs.

Sending you all my Love and Light – Stay safe out there

Until next time …

Categories: #cmralph, Life

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