Well, my return to graphite and charcoal went down in flames on the drawing board earlier today. The more I tried to save it the worse it looked until I finally had to stop – out of sheer mercy for the illustration board.
Leviathan was a very ambitious project idea for my first piece and maybe in order to re-learn these mediums I need to turn my hand toward smaller, less stressful drawings.
Another thing to remember is that failure is a PART of success not the opposite of it – as I pointed out in this little short film I made a year ago –
This is funny on several levels because this film only got 5 views in a year. So it too, was itself a failure.
I have embraced the fact that I will work in relative obscurity as an artist for the rest of my life. And far from what most people would think, I find acknowledging that fact a very freeing activity. Because I have no audience I can take chances and do whatever I want to creatively – or choose NOT to create at all – because no one is watching. I don’t have to follow any rules. No one is waiting to see what I do next. I have no one to satisfy, no expectations to meet and no one to placate.
Sometimes I think instead of calling myself an “artist” I should just call myself “an old person who experiments with creative media in their spare bedroom.” But that is just too long to put on a business card or website title.
Until next time …