Sketchbook Anxiety

Sketchbook Anxiety

I am discovering that in order to fill my new commitment of posting an Art Blog every day I have to begin facing some of my dirty little shameful secrets as an artist. Hopefully the salaciousness and forbidden nature of today’s blog content, much like the popularity of the Reality TV Show Theme Park World we now live in, will drive readers to flock to my website and buy lots and lots of art! YAY! FLOCKING! 

I’m going to save the topic of Art Supply Hoarding for another day – but today’s topic touches very closely on the border of that horrific and potentially life-devastating cycle of addiction. SO STAY TUNED! MORE FLOCKING TO COME! 

I found myself watching product comparison videos about sketchbooks today in preparation for buying myself a new one for Christmas.  The problem is  … I already own 4 empty sketchbooks. In fact, when I need to sketch something I usually do it on an 8.5 x 11 sheet of printer paper. Yes – THERE! – I said it out loud. I draw on printer paper!  Albeit, 67 pound archival quality vellum – but still, it comes in a 250 sheet package.

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Shocking? Yes, I know. You expected so very much more from me.

But confession is good for the soul, dear readers, and I need to unburden myself here in hopes of breaking this vicious cycle of wanton art supply perversion and waste.

I blame my parents. Because, firstly, it’s easy and convenient. I was not given adequate art supplies when I was a young child. Traumatized by this and scarred for life, I act-out my childhood desperation over and over again in the stationary and crafting supply aisles of Walmart and the Dollar Store. (I have forbidden myself from going to actual art supply stores out of my fear that I’d end-up homeless and in debtors prison.)

Due to this overwhelming childhood trauma, when I find myself face-to-face with a sketchbook I simply freeze – deer in the headlights – unable to pick-up my pencil.

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So there you have it – my first art supply confession. If I’m feeling emotionally strong enough, I’ll address Art Supply Hoarding tomorrow. No promises. I have to take my steps on this treacherous path one at a time.

I was grooving to the Pet Shop Boys while I wrote this and wanted to share a few favorite tunes with you – hope this Monday finds you dancing.

Until next time …

Categories: #cmralph, #theundisclosedstudio, art supplies, humorous, Life

cmralph

visual artist, author, filmmaker